Good Luck Colleen

I’ve developed this. . .complex, I suppose, if that’s the right word, that I have become like Good Luck Chuck. If you aren’t aware of what that movie’s about, it stars the lovely Dane Cook and Jessica Alba. I’m not the biggest fan of Dane Cook, he’s just like whatever to me. But anyway, so what happens is this: he sleeps with a girl, I can’t remember if he then breaks up with them or what happens, it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but after the girl has sex with him, the next man she meets is the love of her life and they get married. It never fails. So he meets Jessica Alba who’s like, the unluckiest girl ever, and he falls in love but then she meets someone and he tries to avoid her sleeping with him so she doesn’t become enamored by him on a work thing, I don’t know. Reviewing movies is totally not my thing. But the concept is similar.
I share a similar concept to this, except I don’t necessarily have to have sex with someone for it to come into play. I couldn’t tell you when I first noticed this, but it’s happened an alarming amount of times. This is what happens: I talk to a guy, I like him, he ‘likes’ me, it’s cool, whatever. We hang out, or maybe ‘talk’ for a couple weeks, and then he spins the line that he’s not ready to be in a relationship, or he doesn’t want anything serious. Cliche, but whatever. So I do what I do, give them my award-winning advice telling them not to settle for mediocre blowjobs, and then proceed to delete their number and everything else. Some aren’t like that though, sometimes it becomes established that though they might have liked me, we’re better friends. Although there have been 2 or 3 guys in my entire lifetime that tell me a cliche line like that, and then will contact me months later telling me that they were wrong and that they made a mistake. It’s flattering, and I’m naive, so it soon becomes prevalent that they just made the mistake of not getting head. Others that have done it though, like this guy Zach, which he texted me last year drunk on St. Patrick’s Day wanting to ‘hang out’ and ‘see how I was doing’, bitch bye. Okay. Back to the point of this story. Tinder is definitely a place for good sources of material. I’ve met a lot of interesting people on Tinder. This might be surprising to some people, but it takes a lot for me to give out my phone number, or, as some people know, text back. A lot of people are boring, and I’m not one for small talk. But there was this guy named Joe. Joe, no offense if you’re reading this, looked like a typical fucking asshole. Like, a frat boy if there ever was one. And one of the only reasons why I even swiped right on him was because he had something in his bio about scary movies. He has a fucked up sense of humor like me, so it wasn’t too long before we started sending each other fucked up memes. And then we actually started talking about shit, and I realized he was into the same fucked up shit as I was, he loved to drink, and it was set that he was my soulmate for these reasons. Now I realize I’ve said that once before regarding Dale, but that was more so a joke. And even now I don’t really believe in soulmates except when it comes to your best friends. No guy has been able to make me think differently thus far. So, Joe and I talked and snapped for a couple weeks, but he’s from Indiana. It was soon established that nothing would really come out of this, because of distance. He also had other stuff going on. I’m gonna pause here for a second. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, but I’ve been told I’m really easy to talk to. Even if it’s a guy that’s a friend of a friend at a bar, and he opens up to me about his ex. Like, I’m a good listener and shit. I think that has its pros and cons. Back to Joe. He felt really comfortable talking with me about certain things that he doesn’t particularly like to talk about, or that other people would find weird. After it was established that we would be good buddies, we talked about exes, and how life and timing affects everything. We still send memes to each other here and there. However, this morning, after I sent him something I wrote on Facebook 7 years ago about wanting to see SAW 6, he texted me this verbatim:
. . .soooo Your good luck Chuck thing worked on me….
And I was like aw you met a girl that you liked? And he said:
No, im back with the girl that I broke up with when I found out about __….I’ve regretted it since….so thank you I guess lol.

I’ll tell you guys what I told him. Girls have bomb ass intuition. . .trust. So we can always tell when a guy isn’t over a certain person or situation that happened, or if it’s preventing him from talking to you in a ‘romantic’ way, despite his efforts to deny it. I will admit that I’m irrational as fuck so sometimes I just always think shit like that, but it’s typically right.

Anyway, I’m super happy for him. I’m glad I could help whether it’s a real complex, or just my advice.

Some day it’d be nice to be the girl. Not the girl before the girl. Glad I could help, though. Good luck everyone.


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