The Dating Game

What is dating? Does it always constitute two people physically going out and doing activities together? Or can it consist of two people just ‘haning out’? If two people claim that they’re ‘seeing each other’, does that mean they’re dating? Dating and being in a relationship can mean two different things as well, though. And then what the fuck happens when sex becomes involved? Are you seeing each other and having sex with each other exclusively? Are you guys just fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? And yes, there is a huge difference between the two: fuck buddies are pretty much just booty calls to one another. A friend with benefits is basically like someone you’re fine with just hanging out with, but you guys also engage in sexual activities together. One of my friends has a newfound designated fuck buddy. I’m not sure if she’s still using him for her sexual needs or not, but when one of them wants it, they text the other. Not even call. It’s a booty text. They fuck, then (optionally) fist bump each other, she goes back home and he goes wherever 29 year-olds go to. Back to his downtown apartment? Does he have a downtown apartment? I could’ve sworn that she was talking to someone who had an apartment looking over either the lake, lake shore drive, or something scenic like that because he alluded to how he could fuck her from behind while they both had a nice view. Ugh . . . so fucking romantic; where can I find one?! I know there was this other guy that mentioned something about his balcony, or maybe it was her wanting to have sex on a balcony. Whichever. Being in your 20’s, guys, let me tell you, is so much fun. . .

Another friend of mine is in this thing where her and this guy were friends for a long time and they were super cool. Now they’re hooking up, but it’s more than friends with benefits but less than dating. What does that equate to? What are the proper precautions to take before getting yourself in a similar situation?

Remember when getting a letterman jacket and a pin meant that you two were officially together? And then probably like a week or two later you were ‘in love’ because it was the fucking 50’s and Betty told you she’d go all the way once you met her father and told her you loved her? I’m totally kidding that sounds super fucking ignorant of me.
But like for real. I remember in high school, I was trying to explain a situation with these two people to my mom. She’s like: are they together? No mom, they’re talking. And she’d be like what does that even mean? They’re dating? No. Because in high school ‘dating’ meant you guys were girlfriend//boyfriend. ‘Seeing each other’ meant you were girlfriend//boyfriend. If you guys were ‘talking’, then you were getting to know each other, and it was already established that you guys liked each other, and you were only talking to each other. Now, fast forward. In adult world, 95% of the time, ‘talking’ means just that. ‘Dating’ and ‘seeing each other’ I guess intertwine and pretty much mean the same thing. However, I believe ‘seeing each other’ to be a bit more casual. If you’re like, “yeah me and this guy are seeing each other”, I think that means seeing where things go because liking each other has already been established. If you’re like, “Yeah me and this guy are dating”, I would interpret that to be something that’s more set and established, I guess. The step you take before you guys get into a relationship together I suppose.

And it’s really funny because as women we try and decode every single fucking little aspect, and have all these technical terms and shit, and guys are probably just like, “yeah man, she’s cool – I like ‘er”.

From personal past experience, it took me a while to come to terms that I wanted someone as my boyfriend. I was like, we know we like each other, we’re hanging out, why do you have to be my boyfriend officially? Which is really funny to me now. But then I had this like dramatic moment of realization like they do in the movies, that, even though he wasn’t talking to any girls or seeing any girls or whatever, even though it was just me, I knew I wanted to make him mine. And that realization was over something so stupid. But the next day, we went out to the movies, and then he was driving me home, and we were parked in front of my house. Or we were like a block away from my house or some shit, just sitting in the car for hours and talking. And I was like, “Nick, I want you to be my boyfriend.” I think he was too surprised to make a joke. But yeah. And seeing each other everyday from school and then hanging out after school, 3 months of that, and I was still unsure. Oh God, and I just remembered it took me like 2 months to even admit to him that I really liked him. And I remember this exactly because it was spring break senior year and he was going to Spain. I was on my way to visit my cousin in Wisconsin and while on the train I wrote this fucking 3 page letter, front and back. And I re-wrote it a few times, just because I wanted my handwriting to look pretty. I did that a lot – wrote letters with an actual pen. It’s more sentimental that way. Anyway, so this letter was pretty much professing my ‘like’ to him. And somewhere in there I was like, okay I’m about 80% sure that I want to have sex with you. Hahaha. Good for me though for being so forward. And then he told me he read it like 3 times in class. Ah, innocence. Back when I had never known what a dick in my vagina felt like. Even when we first talked ever in the beginning of the year, it was me who messaged him. I initiated a lot. Because I knew what I wanted.

It’s different now, though. We all work differently as opposed to a 17 year-old, or at least I would hope. More life experiences have happened, therefore more opportunities for us to obtain more baggage. We’re more aware of what we want, what we’re looking for. We’re most certainly aware of what we’re not looking for and what we don’t want as well. But I’m awful at games and I never win. Which is why sometimes for me it’s easier to get to the point. The only games that are fun are board games – drunk or sober, and Mario Kart; again, drunk or sober. Well beer pong I guess but I’m really bad at that, too, drunk or sober.

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