Fake it ’til He Breaks it?


The absolute worst thing you can do to a man is tell him that you’ve faked every single one of your orgasms during sex. However, we can only act for so long. Are we supposed to go along with it until he like literally breaks our vaginas trying to make us cum? Stop.

Despite how upset I’ve been with him, despite how hurt I was by him, I’ve never told my ex that. But…my friends know otherwise.

And before you give me that look like I faked it entirely, at the time I think I really believed I came, and I just accepted that a vaginal orgasm was different than one you get while rubbing your clit.
I have never actually cum from sex or oral sex. It’s shameful, I know. And before you look at me like I’m a total fucking fraud, I know what an orgasm is. Of course I cum every time I masturbate. It feels fucking amazing. But I’ve just never felt that during intercourse. With anyone. Oops.
Obviously it’s reaching orgasm through solely intercourse that is difficult for most women. Usually it helps to rub your clit or whatever you gotta do to get it done. I’ve only slept with three people. Sure sex has felt amazing whether it’s the emotional connection or just the way their penis fills you up like perfectly, but I’ve never felt how I’ve felt after cumming from masturbation after sex. Shannon says its because I’ve never experienced good sex. Both Nick and I were obviously inexperienced since we were each other’s first; we really didn’t know what the fuck we were doing. But sex with him was still amazing to me because I loved him. And that was special. When I had sex with Johnny, I knew beforehand that we would never be a thing. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, so you know what that means. It also was just a subconscious tactic to get over Nick. I was fairly disappointed because he had experience. So I assumed he would be better than my ex. Ladies, never assume; never, ever assume. With the third guy, Greg, I was surprised that it was so good. Only because I didn’t have any invested emotional connections with him. But it was the best sex I’ve ever had. So I feel like slowly but surely I’m getting there. As a woman it’s important to know what you want out of sex and out of a partner. Me, personally, I’m very giving and selfless. I have the mentality where as long as he cums then that’s fine. But I should really change that because, hello, me and my vagina are important, too.

There was one guy, Jeff, that went down on me and he was amazing according to Shannon; she’s a lot more experienced than me so of course I took her word for it. It was really, really good and I think I came… But I feel like if you have to ask yourself that, then you didn’t. But also I can never seem to be completely comfortable during oral. Nick hated doing it, and when your boyfriend at the time doesn’t want his face by your vagina, it kind of makes you insecure. Hopefully soon enough I’ll be comfortable with myself and body to just accept that a guy will like going down on me and it will be great: I’ll make sure of it.

The next relationship that I get into, it will be my personal mission to make sure I cum. I mean, normally I think that girls should finish first and guys should focus more on women cumming, which, I’ll give that to Nick: he wouldn’t stop until he made sure I came. But I also think experienced guys can tell when a girl cums. I’m pretty sure they can feel the vagina get tighter and all that other shit.
It’s just an interesting concept to think about. How many women fake it? You would think that no respectable woman should fake anything; I never said I was that respectable. Either way, there’s no fucking way that I’d settle for someone who I couldn’t cum with and for in my next relationship. Sex isn’t the only thing in a relationship of course, but it is pretty important. And even though I was stupid in love and blissfully unaware of how important it was to actually cum during sex, despite my willingness to be content with no orgasms (which makes me roll my eyes looking back at the situation and how dumb that is), I would never be willing to fake anything from orgasms to repressed feelings of love, with the next guy I date. What if we end up getting married? I don’t want to end up resenting him and myself and then have a mid-life crisis at 37 and want to sleep with his brother or something just because he can’t please me sexually. And then he finds out and his family finds out and the kids don’t know what the fuck is going on and it’s just this whole ordeal. What the fuck kind of life is that?


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