Eating Out

Have you ever laid down in your bed, super casual, and just so happen to look down at the guy who’s going down on you? You only see like, maybe half of their nose, up. And they really go at it and they’re trying and trying to eat well and they get like super into it and they try being seductive with their eyes. And you don’t know what to do because you kind of feel uncomfortable because he’s not that good at it but you appreciate that he’s not giving up and he really is giving it his all which at the same time is a little sad and disheartening. Plus, you feel pressure because they keep fucking looking up at you to see what your face is like and if you’re enjoying it. I just wanna be like: please don’t fucking look at me, I have stage freight, I’m not gonna cum if you keep looking at me. Like damn. Go on about your business. If a girl looks up at a guy while giving him head and she looks seductive, he looks at her for a second, and rolls his head back and moans because what she did was really sexy. Guys: don’t try and be sexy when you’re going down on someone. It doesn’t work. And stop looking at us. Do you not realize how unflattering that angle is?! I mean, sure, look up casually to make sure that she’s enjoying it in case her body movements and the noises that she makes aren’t enough. But damn. Don’t fucking look up at us the entire time. And the fact that I’m even posting this is sad, because getting eaten out should feel so amazing that you’re not even paying attention to where he’s looking, which is hopefully in your whispering eye. Ha-ha.
But if it’s not good, me personally, I’m just laying there…looking around the room like…
Oh, that’s a nice bookshelf. I wonder if he has it alphabetically organized. I should probably organize mine. Maybe that’ll be a nice project to do when I have nothing else to do. Wait, is that a poster of Megan Fox? Is he 12? She actually looks really pretty… well, she is pretty, fucking bitch. I wonder what she’s been up to lately. Ugh I can’t wait ’til this is over. There’s leftover pizza. I hope they didn’t eat it all. I’d be so upset. What should I watch when I get home? Oh, fuck yes, there’s a new episode of American Horror Story that I missed, I can watch that. I just got super excited. Okay, really Colleen? He’s going down on you and you’re thinking about food? Ugh why can I never cum from being eaten out? Have they all just been not that great? I should really try casual hooking up more. Maybe there’s something that I’m missing. *looks down* *looks back up at the ceiling and moans because he’s staring, technically not fully faking it because it does feel nice* Okay I think we’re done here.
And the sad part is…I’m not even over-exaggerating that much. Guys, just be cautious. No one likes a wide, flat tongue that eats a pussy like a dog drinking water. And if you gotta do the whole ‘alphabet technique’, don’t fucking hum it to yourself. Jesus. How many licks does it take to get to the core of a woman’s orgasm? The world may never know.


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