Once upon a night, in a smog-polluted kingdom, there was a beautifully mediocre-looking Princess and a pretty decent looking Prince. The Prince was at a bar, and tired of all the basic bitch peasants that stood in his presence, he downed his $10 shitty beer and hoped that his friends were getting the Royal treatment and a happy ending from these two girls that they had met an hour prior, that way this would be somewhat worth it. His shitty beers soon turned into cheap shots, and before he had a chance to drunkenly hit on the bartender, in walked the beautiful Princess; not so mediocre-looking now considering that the Prince was drunk off his ass. He was automatically smitten: she had gorgeous blonde hair (don’t they all) and a really tight fucking dress that totally made her ass look amazing. He knew then that he had to have her. . .for one night. But, alas! As soon as the Prince tried to spit his game, the Princess’s evil friends shooed him away from her. Feeling defeated, the Prince watched the Princess dance the night away from afar while he waited at the bar, doing body shots off some random bitches. One of the Princess’s evil friends, Becky, went up to the Prince and asked him if he wanted to dance. Distraught and heartbroken, since he’s a guy, of course the Prince accepted her offer! The fuck. Pussy is pussy. Evil Becky took advantage of the heartbroken Prince, and started to feel him up on the dance floor. Tipsy, The beautiful Princess looked over and saw them together. She gracefully went up to Becky and said, “What the fuck?” The evil Becky knew that the Princess wanted the Prince as soon as they entered the bar, but she convinced her that he was a low-life douchebag and how she could do better. Hurt and betrayed, the Princess walked outside in a huff. She knew that The Evil Becky was probably coked out of her mind, but still. . .fucking girl code. Storming out of the bar, the Princess didn’t realize that she dropped her I.D. Being too white girl wasted, she didn’t get a stamp to be able to get back in, and the mean doorman told her that she was not welcomed there. Then, out of nowhere, the decent looking prince ran outside with the Princess’s I.D. in hand! The Princess was so captivated that she wrapped her arms around the Prince, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and offered to give him a blowjob. Being the Prince Charming gentleman type that he was, he accepted her offer, but only is she let him give her that good D.
They lived happily never after, because after their one night stand they never saw each other again. A week later, the Prince ended up fucking Evil Becky – it turns out she’s just a shitty person, and that’s how real life works.