A lot of shit went down in 2015. Let’s start from the very beginning: My ex relationship. I’ve talked about this many, many times over the past year, but bear with me.
So, it was a few days after 2015 had started. Well, maybe a few weeks. Shannon and I were getting ready to go to my brother’s house in Bolingbrook (that’s when I still had my car). I got a text from my ex, asking if we could meet up for a drink to try and be friends. Initially, my heart kind of dropped a bit, but more so with astonishment because I did not expect him to ever text me again let alone want to meet up. At the time, I was talking to this guy, Luke, ‘The Pastor’. He was super cool and great – I really liked him. And as I’ve said before, I’ll always be grateful to him in a way because he kind of helped me move on and realize that there are other guys out there. Anyway. So my ex and I went for a drink and it was fine. I didn’t really feel anything. But then when walking me home, he kissed me, and that’s when this whole downward spiral of going back and forth started. January, February, March, and some of April was weird and hard and kind of nice and everything in one. In February, I got into a car accident and my car was fucked. My fault, of course. I’m still trying to get another one. In March, my dad lost his job. I don’t really like to talk about it because I’m very resentful. After he lost it, I started working so I could help my mom out somewhat. Which is fine. I’m glad I started working again. I can’t really remember any distinctive things in the months ahead. Aside from my sister-in-law getting really sick and things officially ending with my ex that resulted in me blocking him off of everything because it was for the best. And now, recently, the suicide attempt with someone very close with me and Christmas not being the same. I just didn’t really like 2015. But, I won’t completely shut it down, because good things happened, too: I saw Taylor Swift in concert with Kevin. My best friend Briana turned 21. Shannon moved in with her boyfriend. Priscilla graduated college. I was there to experience literally all of that with them. I traveled by myself. I saw the Grand Canyon. I met new people and did new things. I’m in a management training program for work, and I FINALLY got my associates. The end of 2014 was the shit. I didn’t even realize it until 2015 happened.
I’m not going to spew out the: ‘New year new me’ bullshit. I’m still going to be negative in the best way possible; I’m still going to be myself. Some goals for 2016, however: be kinder to myself, love myself, find out more about myself. Maybe start going to the gym, just to not only feel better on the outside, but on the inside as well. Like my intestines aren’t deteriorating from all the Sugar Free Red Bull and crap that I consume.
2015, you’ve been both bad and good. At least you were definitely an experience. Thanks for everything, but I’m ready for 2016.
I hope everyone has a great fucking New Year!