I haven’t written anything in what feels like forever. I’ve been working a lot, but that’s not really a valid excuse because writers should always find time to write. I’ve had a lot of thoughts and opinions as per usual, but I guess I’ve just been keeping them somewhat to myself for a change.
I’ve been ‘talking’ to this guy recently. I liked him, thought I could date him, that whole thing again. But I feel like he’s not that into it. Or me anymore. And I’m just like… What makes you deserving of my blowjobs if I decide to give you them? Like seriously, you guys. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. If a guy doesn’t look at you like you’re the sexiest fucking thing, don’t waste your time. You should be looking at him like that, too. But come on. We’re girls… We need that. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t do the same for them.
This whole world of ‘dating’ is exhausting. I’m kinda over it to be honest. Like, I guess I’m more interested in starting friendships over relationships – it’s not as much pressure.
I can’t deny that I do miss the feeling of knowing someone likes you. I guess I have high standards. I don’t care if guys are ‘different’. When you’re dating someone or talking to them and claim to really like them, you should talk to them everyday. Engage with them. Want to see them as much as possible. And when your friends ask about it, say: you guys, this person is fucking amazing. You’ll leave it at that because they can tell you’ve been different lately, in a good way.
I know you shouldn’t depend on a significant other for happiness. But we can’t deny that there’s a certain level of intimacy and connection you obtain when you have that person. You can have it with friends, too, but for whatever reason, it’s a little different. Anyway. I think for right now I’ll just focus on work, school, and bettering myself. No more actively seeking someone I could potentially date. No more pressure. I’m over it.