There comes a point where every thing about it consumes all of you – your bones, your soul, your entire body physically and mentally. But then there are those days when you find yourself having to question whether you miss them at all. Of course there is also a middle, that justifies your broken heart and irrationality, yet judges it at the same time. I know how you feel. You feel as if it is over: life, your world, everything you’ve ever thought to be true. It’s not over; it feels like it is, but it’s not. I know there was a point when you thought to yourself, ‘how could I let any other person touch me the way they did?’. You question whether or not you’ll find what you had, and you’ll most certainly have your doubts. Everything inside your brain and heart will be telling you that you’ll never be happy again. That you’ll never find someone who loves you as much as they did. But then something happens. Your brain comes to its senses and rationality seeps in. You realize that you don’t need them, however, your heart feels differently. Your heart still aches and longs for them; your heart is not always as smart as your brain. Your brain knows that you will be fine – that you cannot continue on living life hoping for them to come back into it. What an awful life to live. But your heart…your heart is this vessel of hatred and lovesickness. It cannot be happy again, it thinks. But then you realize that it’s just an organ, and something wonderful happens: your heart catches up to your brain; your beautiful brain that waited so patiently for it, despite its doubts and frustrations. I won’t lie to you: sometimes it can take months, even years for the heart to catch up to the brain. There is no controlling it, unfortunately. But when that moment comes, you will know, or so I’ve been told. Before finding someone else, you will mend your heart by yourself, and it will be fabulous. You will feel free – no longer a prisoner to the person that forever broke a part of you. How do I know this? I know how you feel. I’ve felt it. And although my brain is well aware and coherent of what happened, my heart is still a prisoner. But each day it breaks a little more free, because each day it gets better. You no longer hope they come back. You no longer see yourself with them. But the times shared and the feelings felt is what holds it back. And it is not fair to ever give your heart to someone when you’re not over another. How could you give your all to one person, when pieces of you are left behind to the previous one?
It’ll be okay. My heart gets closer to my brain as the weeks carry on, and yours will, too.