What I Miss

I told myself I didn’t want a relationship at the moment. However, if I met someone that I could see myself with, that is subject to change. I don’t necessarily miss being in a relationship, I just miss that intimacy with someone. That person that can fuck you so good (not well; this isn’t the time for proper grammar) and be passionate at the same time. Someone that wants to actually see you. I really miss having sex…I do. Like I’ve said before, my vagina and my morals are at odds with each other. But like I’ve also said before, I’m not gunna fuck someone just because I miss having sex. I really miss that passion and that moment when you both just look at each other, because you’re so into one another. So whoever is doing that right now with their significant other//person they like, props to you. I’ll be over here…jealous, and bitter as fuck. That’s another thing…KISSING! Kissing is so, so, so important to me. It’s not only a huge turn on, but I think it’s a form of intimacy, a small form, but a form nonetheless. And have you ever watched those pornos where it’s just so hardcore, and the guy is pounding her, and she’s making her ‘orgasm’ face, which, if you’ve experienced a real orgasm, your face should not look like that. It’s more like . . . your eyebrows are furrowed and you look like you’re upset or in pain. . .that’s what an orgasm face is supposed to look like. Anyway, he’s fucking her, and she’s moaning, but they’re not kissing…like at all? Yeah-no. I can’t do that. Sex without kissing is depressing as fuck. That’s sad sex. Well, for me, anyway. Even if you’re fucking the shit out of me from behind, pulling my hair, doing whatever, find a way to kiss me. But yeah, getting back on topic, I miss that. Not necessarily having a ‘boyfriend’. I don’t know if I want a boyfriend. I just want someone who thinks I’m amazing and awesome and so pretty and also thinks I’m the best person in the world, who wants to have sex with only me, and I can call or text and be like I need someone to cuddle with, and they come over. Someone who will eat pizza with me and watch awful reality TV with me. Someone who thinks my body is beautiful. Someone that I can hang out with and just ‘be’ with. Is that too much to ask?

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