I’m not sure just how many stages of grief there are when it comes to a breakup. But some go like this: Shock, anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. If that’s true, then my stages of grieving are all kinds of fucked up. It wasn’t necessarily a shock since we were on a break. Depression was the first feeling. But it’s not like I went through all these stages one by one. Sometimes I feel one, other times I feel all at the same time. Depression mostly. Depression and A LOT of bargaining. I associate bargaining with being hopeful. I don’t think I was ever really in denial about it. Maybe for like a second, but it wasn’t a problem. Now I’m in my angry stage. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still sad about it. But I am going through more periods now where I’m angry with him for breaking my heart. Because it’ll never be the same again. I’m angry at him for forever changing me and the way I look at love. Even though I am grateful for him being my first everything including love, I am so angry and bitter. I guess even though it still makes me sad, being angry is making some kind of progress, right? I’ve accepted it for the most part, but not so much where I can just move on like that. If anyone with a broken heart is reading this, please talk if you need to. I know how much this FUCKING SUCKS.