The Vagina Chronicles: Prude Ass Bitch

Nia’s Vagina:

It’s the same thing, I guess. You go through life either being the center of attention, or tucked away in a dusty cob-webbed corner that no one wants to go near. That’s kinda how I am right now. Nia is like the center of attention. As for me, I wouldn’t even know what to do with attention because I’ve never experienced it. And in a more literal sense, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some cob webs in this corner, because God knows I’m not getting any dick.
You know, I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. What makes Nia so special? I’m like the prized possession here, not her. It’s like, who the hell cares about Eve; everyone wants the forbidden fruit, y’know? And Adam…. There is no Adam in our secret garden. At this point, I’d settle for a finger , but I can’t even get that. Do you know how hard it is being attached to someone who is a prude? I’m so vibrant and beautiful and should be shown off to the world. I wanted so desperately for us to become a porn star. My dreams got shattered when Nia got tons of acceptance letters back from numerous universities.
Do you realize how many guys want to be in me?! It’s so tragic to not be able to do anything about it! We were dating the hottest guy in the entire world, his name was Brad. He was blonde with blue eyes, I know, so fucking cliche, but his hotness made up for his lack of uniqueness. He was also dumb as fuck, and, let’s be honest, so was Nia because all he wanted her for… Was me! Dear God I would’ve let him do the most terrible things to me… But Nia has to ruin all my fucking fun.
Anyway, her and Brad were making out one night. He was trying to get into her shirt, and of course this bitch wouldn’t let him. He kept his hand on her knee the entire time, slowly, inching his way up higher every other minute. Do you know how hard it is to be wet and not have anything be done about it?! I do!
So, as Brad got closer and closer, he kind of just went all in and starting rubbing me over her pants. The bitch knew it felt good… And she also knew she wanted it to happen. But before she enjoyed it too much, she pushed Brad off of her, and told him to get the fuck out of her house. I just don’t understand her… How can she be so innocent? Will I ever have a dick in me?! It’s not fair! All the other vaginas get to be shown off and eaten and fucked and loved, while I’m just here… Not getting touched. Jesus. At least sit on top of the washing machine.
Well… I’m going to try and drown myself in my own wetness. And yes, that sounds gross. But it’s not like I’ll ever have a purpose anyway.
-Nia’s Unloved Vagina

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