What if Cinderella weighed like, 300lbs? Do you think Prince Charming would still want her? Would she of even been able to walk in those glass slippers without breaking them? What if her fairy godmother made her skinny for the ball, and then after midnight, she became ‘plus size’ again? Once Prince Charming discovers her true identity and scale size, do you think he’d opt out for one of her evil step sisters? If Cinderella were a true story in this day and age, her evil step mom probably fattened her up on purpose because apparently being fat is the most disgusting thing a girl can be in today’s society. Isn’t that sad?
‘Oh, here Cindy; you get another slice of cake for doing such a great job cleaning the kitchen. On second thought, here, take the whole thing!’
That sneaky, skinny hag.
In the end, the ultimate, vindictive, evil thing the step mom could’ve done, and did do, was make her beautiful step daughter fat. Because obviously being ‘fat’ makes you ugly, right? Can you guys hear the sarcasm in my voice? I hope so.
But wait! Here’s a real twist: Prince Charming doesn’t care what Cinderella looks like! He loves her anyway, even if her glass slipper doesn’t fit her kankled foot. How cute and noble of him.
And all Cinderella’s gotten her entire life was, “Oh, honey, you’d be so much prettier if you were thin!”. That’s the ultimate punishment for a girl. Cinderella was therefore a virgin. She hadn’t even been kissed. Her slutty step sisters got all the horn dog boyfriends, and all she got were sad, pathetic looks from them, along with some offers to give head since “Fat girls give the best head because they’re always hungry.” But like a classy 17 year old girl, she turned them down. And now, she’s in her 20’s, wishing she would’ve done it so she had some experience when it came to sucking Prince Charming’s dick.
But, could it be possible that Prince Charming doesn’t care that she’s inexperienced? Wait, no! That’s crazy! But maybe…….. Maybe Prince Charming was raised right by his mother, and he believes every girl is beautiful in her own way and right. Maybe Prince Charming doesn’t care if a girl is a couple extra pounds then the average bottle blonde bobble head bitch. Maybe Prince charming is actually caring, and sweet. Maybe he also actually uses a condom, and doesn’t say, ‘It’s okay, trust me; the pull-out method works!’. Maybe, just maybe, in the land of fairy tales, Prince Charming would rather try to get into a girl’s head and talk, rather than get into her pants and fuck,
But maybe that’s all too much to ask for. Maybe Prince Charming’s father was a dickwad, and turned him into an asshole who only dates bitches who are 20 lbs. Maybe he’d rather have a girl who ate half a carrot stick, as opposed to a whole large pizza by herself……….
There are a lot of maybes, but there are a lot of maybes in real life. Because real life isn’t a fairytale.
Disney fucked us, and not in a good way.
I’d rather stick to the Grimm’s Brothers. Because not only am I a dark-souled person and love macabre, but I’d rather see a movie about her evil step sisters cutting off their toes to try and fit the glass slipper, as opposed to seeing them struggle to fit their big ass feet in it.