The Consequences Of Being Me

Everything in life is just one huge big fat test. Everything, everyone you encounter or experience happens for a reason. All the sadness and heartache doesn’t last forever… Even if you have depression. You just need to surround yourself with positive things and people. Take it day by day. I really wish I would get an epiphany right about now, and it would hit me just like Chris did to Rihanna. My epiphany would be sudden, and stick with me forever.
But, while I’m waiting for that, I’ll continue to try and take things one day at a time, and try to be positive. Cynicism is in my humor, and that will always be a part of me that will never change. But that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be happy. I’ll call myself beautiful everyday and tell myself I’m deserving and worthy of anything. I’ll tell myself I’m not fat, I have big boobs, hips, curves I guess you could say. And look at Christina Hendricks. She’s beautiful.
Being so hard on yourself and worrying about things that are out of your control is so fucking exhausting. What good comes from it? Is it because you think you’re preventing something bad from happening? Because that’s what I think sometimes. But it never works. You just up getting burned in the end. And all that worrying was for nothing. I worried about my boyfriend and I. You know, what if we break up or don’t last or he finds someone else and so many more things. But what good comes from that? Nothing. Its so fucking exhausting and it only ends up hurting ourselves and our time together. He tells me to live in the moment, and I need to. It’s easier said than done to not worry and have anxiety.
But sometimes you just have to say fuck it. Even though it’s hard.
Fuck you anxiety and worry. Go suck some dick.

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