The Vagina Chronicles: In Search of the Perfect Penis

Roxi’s Vagina
I’m a sucker for romantic comedies. Roxi isn’t all that into them, but I can’t get enough!
They remind me that some day, someway, somehow, my perfect dick is out there, waiting for me. It’ll fit perfectly and it’ll be a beautiful thing. I believe in love at first thrust, but Roxi thinks it’s all bullshit. But I think she just needs to find the right guy, with the right member in between his legs, and we’ll all be good to go.
I think she’s discouraged because she’s the only single one out of all her friends. Plus, she’s watched too many ‘Sex and the City’ episodes. But Carrie and Big eventually end up together! And get married!
Ugh. I just want a reason to look nice and trimmed; a reason for Roxi to eat pineapples so I taste good; a reason to do keegles. I need a great, sensitive, caring, loving, strong, dick in my life. Is that too much to ask?
If only there was a dating website for just vaginas and dicks.
Life would be so much happier.
But I don’t want just any dick. I want one that loves me and calls me beautiful; one that tells me I’m skinny when I’m feeling fat; one that’ll love me til the end; one that’ll make me laugh, make me cry, make me wet, all rolled up into one. Will I ever find it?
SINGLE VAGINA SEEKING SINGLE PENIS! And of course the dick has to be single- I’m not a home-wrecker. We’ve tried it once and it turns out we were just being used because the guys girlfriend wasn’t fucking him enough. Ugh. That dick was just a horny bastard and used me for my hole. Why do dicks have to be such assholes? There’s already enough asshole on a man!
Well, if you hear of any great dick, let me know.
I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic, and Roxi’s just hopeless.

I gotta go,
I need to figure what I’d say if I ever were to sign up for a dating website. What would I put in my bio? That I want and dick who treats me like a beautiful pink pearl, but fucks me like a dirty little cunt?
Is that too much?

Roxi’s Vagina

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