I’m very grateful for the life I live. I know not all vaginas are as fortunate as me – some go through life with a landing strip, or worse, shaved! Can you imagine? I can’t even deal with the thought.
Luckily, being pretty comes natural to me. I’m skinny, I’m a beautiful shade of pink, I’m waxed, and frankly, I look like a porcelain doll. You know, the porcelain part not the creepiness part. I make sure Lynn goes to the gym and eats healthy because no one wants a fat sour-puss…laterally. I have a reputation to uphold and I’m not going to let her ruin that just because she’d rather eat a hamburger over half a rice cake. Who does she think I am? Kirsty Alley’s vagina? Um, no, try again. I was voted most fuckable and most edible in one of the frat boys’ house in school. Do you know what an honor that is!?
Okay, well, no offense but I’m done telling you my life story. Unless you wanna tell me how flawless I am, I’m busy thinking of something to do besides talk to you.
Love and hate you,
Lynn’s flawless vagina.