So I just finished reading ‘White Girl Problems’. It was funny, and similar to my style of writing. Even though Babe Walker is a gem, she’s also a rich bitch. So, yes, I agreed with some of the book, however, I’m not superfuckingrich so… Most of her problems, I didn’t have. I made a list of my problems as a white girl, and I’m hoping other girls know what I’m talking about. These are for regular, typical white girls:
1. Ew; I look fat. Why isn’t anyone telling me how skinny I look!?
2. If people are staring at me it’s either bc they think I’m pretty, I have something on my face, or they think I’m fucking hideous. Obviously it has to be one of the last two, or both.
3. I wish I weighed 80lbs.
4. Just kidding, I could live with 110-120lbs
5. I wanna go shopping, but I don’t have a job and my credit card, that my parents pay for, is almost at its max.
6. I wanna go shopping but I feel fat, so I’d rather just try losing 30lbs in a month instead of buying a bigger size.
7. I’ve been going to the gym for one day now. How come I’m not skinny yet?
8. I wanna be skinny, but I Love pizza too much.
9. Just because I’m white and a girl, sometimes people think I’m a stuck up bitch.
10. When I see skinny, pretty white girls, I automatically think they’re stuck up bitches.
11. I have really low self esteem. Like, sometimes I think I’m pretty but I hate myself.
12. When I try looking super hot and no one says anything, it automatically means I need to try harder, and go crawl in a hole.
13. Trust me, he’s cuter in person.
14. Omg my thighs look fucking huge.
15. I can’t let strangers know I eat.
16. Why am I not rich?
17. If someone orders food, I’ll tell them I’m not hungry.
18. As soon as they leave, I stuff my face.
19. I wasn’t skinny enough to be a playmate, so I had to go to college.
20. I went on a health binge once. It lasted less than an hour.
Regardless if these are white girl problems, girl problems, or Colleen problems, they’re all relevant.