Self-Sabotage

I always over think things and worry and have bad feelings all the time. I know almost all of it is in my own mind. Sometimes I think my mind is more poisonous than anything else. There’s a reason why it is said that we’re prisoners in our own minds. We become consumed with thoughts and turn them into something cruel, which then can become a reality because we fixate on it so much. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just enjoy the present? I’m always worried about the future ….what it’s gunna be like and the negatives. Why can’t I focus on the positives? I believe that it can be dangerous and potentially fatal if people like me are left alone with nothing to do but make up scenarios in their minds. I understand the reason for lobotomies….just kidding.
But seriously. It’s an awful trait to carry. Consumed with thoughts and bad feelings that lay deep inside your stomach. Sigh:(

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2 thoughts on “Self-Sabotage

  1. First off you are a woman and you are white. That is the most powerful combination in this world. Use it and abuse it. That is coming from an Asian girl so I can say that. haha. On top of that you can write and are fucking hilarious. What future are you worried about? Your parents pay for your credit card, that means you will always have their support. I mean that with no ill will at all. It’s something to be thankful for. Let yourself wallow in your self pity every once in a while guilt-free, it helps it get out of your system. Crying and pot smoking helps too. But then wipe those tears away and start another day.

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