The Vagina Chronicles: Love At First Thrust

Kristy’s Vagina:

Kristy and her boyfriend recently broke up. I felt so awful; she was devastated. But….I kind of hated him because he was an asshole who always took me for granted. He said he had ‘mommy issues’, so he didn’t like having sex with a vagina. What.the.fuck. Um, is that even a real thing? You have mommy issues so you’d rather have sex with an asshole than a  perfectly good, kegel exercising vagina!? And even when he would have sex in me….it was sad…and a little disturbing. I swore every time, which was probably a total of 7 times in their 10 month relationship, it was like jack rabbit sex. AND…I never finished. How rude, right!? I chafed so badly, it was like Arizona down here…
That’s why I didn’t really understand why Kristy was so upset when they broke up. She hated anal. I have no idea why she put up with that for so long. Fuck that…not literally.
Anyway, she’s dumb, whatever. However, she met a new guy last night while she was at the bar trying to drink her problems and swollen asshole away! Isn’t that great!? His name is Bryce. A pretty boy name….but I quickly got over that once she was drunk enough to sleep with him. It was Love at first thrust. He was amazing. And you wanna know the best part? It was just a quickie in the girls’ bathroom! Imagine how it’d be like in a bed! He gave her his number. I’m gunna make sure that bitch calls him. If she doesn’t, I’ll make sure she never feels anything down here again.
#dontplaywithmebitch
Toodles!
xxxo
Kristy’s vagina

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