Mandee recently became a lesbian, which is cool; I’m fine with that. I think Love is equal.
The only problem is….Mandee and I are sluts. We Love penis. I’ve never been with a girl…maybe she’s made out with one, but what drunken girl hasn’t made out with another girl? She’s never slept with a girl. It’s only been guys! I have no idea why she’s on this Les-be-honest binge, but I’m not too happy about it. She can Love whomever she wants….but….she already has a girlfriend. Her name is Andria. Let’s just say Andria is very…dominate. Getting to my whole point, Andria has a friend. His name is bulldozer. If you’re not understanding me, bulldozer is a big, black strap on. She calls it bulldozer because it ‘bulldozes that pussy’. Those were her words, not mine! Who says that?! Apparently a sexually frustrated lesbian, that’s who. I met ‘Bulldozer’ for the first time last night….
It was the worst penis of my life.
It’s not even a real penis! It’s fake! What the hell, Mandee! You’re supposed to be my fellow slut! And by the way, you so faked it last night! We both know that strap on did nothing for us. It wasn’t even a decent strap on that is made to feel like flesh. Nope. It was hard and felt effing plastic. I felt like a plastic diet Pepsi bottle was being thrust in and out of me. If Mandee wants to be a lesbian, I fully support her. She just needs to get a classier, high end strap on. But I hope this phase goes away…I miss the real thing.