Melinda and I are the biggest sluts I know. Well, it’s not like I know a lot of people, considering I’m a genitalia, but you know what I mean. I blame her for making me this way! If she wouldn’t of lost her virginity when she was like….13, (way BEFORE we were ready) to some douche-rocket who worked at a bowling alley, then maybe this wouldn’t of happend. And let me just say….even before that when she first got her period when she was 12, she used Tampons. Tampons! Why couldn’t she of just worn a pad like the other normal 12 year old girls who got their periods for the first time?
Ugh. Anyway, as I was saying, I think I’m a sex addict. Well, Melinda and I are sex addicts. My favorite person that we’ve slept with was probably….#21. I forgot what his name was….I think he was a waiter at TGIFridays? Yeah, it was there. I remember because he gave her free Mozzarella sticks, and that pretty much sealed the deal for her. It was like…he went deep sea diving…but inside me. I know, you guys probably don’t want those details but c’mon…I’m a vagina….I don’t get out much. Or at all, really. I don’t know if this is a good comparison, probably not…but he was like a zombie. In the sense where, no matter how many times you shot at him, he kept on going! Ha-Ha. Yeah….we’re on #27 now. He works at Chili’s. I think she has an obsession with guys in uniforms. Chain restaurant uniforms.